Chuck Kelley, president emeritus of New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary and Leavell College, spoke about his journey of grief after losing his beloved wife Rhonda in his first chapel message since his retirement.
Kelley’s chapel address on Thursday (March 13) marks more than a year since the passing of his late wife in Feb. 2024.
“If anybody ever told you that as long as you follow Jesus closely and serve him passionately you would never have to worry about hard things or brutal circumstances in your life, they were wrong,” Kelley told the audience at Leavell Chapel.
“Every single one of us will have our experience with dark days and difficult times. It is the way life is. It’s a shock when it happens to you, but it’s a reality that every one of us must face. There is a reason for it and there is a purpose in it whenever it is your turn to be on the dark road.”
Kelley served as the 8th President of NOBTS for 23 years, from 1996 until 2019.
Before becoming president, Kelley earned Master of Divinity and Doctor of Theology degrees as an NOBTS student, then served on the faculty for 14 years.
While introducing Kelley, NOBTS President Jamie Dew expressed gratitude for Kelley’s service to the seminary and his personal friendship.
“Here’s a man who gave us 23 years of his life and his devotion and his affection to this institution and her faculty and students,” Dew said. “That alone makes me love you and have affection for you.”
Dew pointed out that one lasting impact of Kelley’s time as president was his work in keeping the seminary in New Orleans.
“When Hurricane Katrina came in 2005 and absolutely devastated this place, it was this man who made decisions to keep us here,” Dew said. “It was this man that lifted the banner and did whatever it took to rebuild this place and encourage the faculty and the students and to keep us here in the city of New Orleans.
“You hear me say this all the time, I think this is one of the things that make us distinct in the broader network of Southern Baptist work is that we prepare for ministry here in this city. We just wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for this man and the work that he did to rebuild this campus.”
Kelley emphasized that although his wife’s passing from cancer was shocking to him, God made his presence known during dark days.
“It was not our fault, nor was it our doom,” Kelley said. “It was merely our turn. God is always prepared whenever trouble comes to you.”
Kelley noted the important role that time alone with God has played in processing his grief in the last year.
He explained that every summer since Katrina, he and Rhonda would take a summer vacation out in the mountains. The summer after she passed, Kelley’s mountain sojourn was a time of healing.
“The mountains are that place where the Earth stretches up as high as it can stretch and the Heavens bend down as low as they can bend, and they touch in the air on the top of those mountains,” he said. “Neither one is a source of help. Our source of help is the maker of Heaven and Earth. The who is responsible for everything that is, He will indeed bring help to us.”
During this time with God, Kelley discovered the key to moving forward after such intense grief.
“I saw that my path, my place to start, was gratitude,” Kelley said. “Grief is actually a pop test. God holds up a mirror to show you just how selfish you are. I’m being grateful for all the ways I was blessed by Rhonda and our marriage, but I wasn’t looking at what had happened from Rhonda’s perspective.
“As she took her last breath on Earth, my face inches from her face and my hand holding her hand, she drew in her first untainted breath in Heaven. No more cancer, no more problems of any kind. She was experiencing all of the delights that God has promised for his children.
“Would I ever want to call her back from that for more time with me, absolutely not. I would make that deal 100 percent of the time. Lord, give Rhonda everything that you’ve been preparing for her and I will live with the price of losing her. For gratitude is both for what you’ve experienced, and for what your loved one is experiencing right now. Every time I get sad and tears begin to flow, that’s my trigger to be grateful.”
